So I know most have heard of Molly Bears, the weighted teddy bears, and those are great. The only downside is cost and wait time to receive it (6+ months if you don’t get a special pass and you have to register at a certain time of the month to be put on a wait list.)
After losing Emma I had mentioned how I wanted one so bad and I was going to get Ryan and I one to help us heal. Well luckily for me, Ryan’s cousin Angela was listening…. and at Emma’s funeral, she along with her mom Shelley and stepdad Jim surprised us with our own Emma Bear.
She got our Emma Bear from the Etsy shop: Mommies Of An Angel (click the blue hyperlink to be directed to their shop) who make personalized (with a necklace with birthstone) weighted teddy bears, for those who suffer from infant loss.
The box even came with a personalized letter that started out; “To Emma’s Mom and Dad” it mentioned her birth weight (which was the exact weight of the bear) and tells a but about why they started this company.
Which if you couldn’t guess was due to losing their own infant son. The mom had been walking around the house constantly trying to find something to hold that weighed as much as her precious baby Noah. That’s when she thought of making memory bears for those who have suffered infant loss.
I never knew what kind of an impact a weighted bear could have, until I was up in the middle of the night sobbing, and missing Emmy like crazy and just wishing I could hold her. I never thought I’d be able to feel her exact weight again like the last time I held her. This bear has been a life saver in not only mine but my husband’s grief process.
We sleep with her in our bed every night (and usually argue over who gets to hold her while they sleep). My husband usually wins, only because I get her when he wakes up in the morning. Seeing my husband cuddle our Emma bear warms my heart. I know he misses our baby girl so much, but having Emma Bear around helps him a lot.
We very occasionally change the outfit we have on her and place one of Emma’s bows in her hair. And let me tell ya, if the bow is missing, my husband will mention it. He says “she’s just not Emmy Bear without a bow, she has to have one in”
Until you’ve felt the pain of infant loss, you will never understand the “achy arms” feeling of never being able to hold your baby again. I’m sure there are people who think we are crazy for having a weighted bear. We don’t take her out in public like a child, we don’t strap her in a carseat, we don’t change a diaper on her, etc. But we do have to sleep with her every night, and if that is something that helps keep us sane then it will NEVER change.
I know people may think they are being helpful when they tell you how you should grieve (and that’s a whole other blog post), but in reality NO ONE can dictate your grief, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re doing it wrong. You have to do what you think is best for you.
To lighten up the mood, here are pictures of our adorable Emma Bear and the happiness she has brought us!